Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I am surprised at how contemptible people can get. Mom was right when she said “when you are alone and for the reason that you are a woman, no matter how well you do, people will have something bad to put in the picture”. Why? Why do people bother so much about someone else’s life? Why can’t they just take care of their own shit and let us be at peace? And just because you are a woman you become the target of all those dirty rumors and gossips. And oh not to forgot you also become the object of their dirty glares and rowdy intentions! And your only fault is because you are a woman? Sad! People don’t even let you live your own precious life in peace. The worst is if you are single! They make your life a living hell! People assume you are easy, cheap and available. Just days ago I was walking in town with my brother and after a few days I hear my office people teasing me “who was that hunk you were walking with?” DUH??? They didn’t see me but it seems someone else saw me and so that’s how it got to my office. I couldn’t help laughing out loud but I could feel a sharp pain inside me. It was just so embarrassing and awkward.
Well this article is an upshot of a phone call I received. I am not naming the caller but I tell you I have never come across a cheaper being then him. And I have never before been insulted and appalled as a woman this way. There was nothing bad in his calling but his intentions were not right. They were dirty and the mere fact that he is married makes him a total dirty jerk. Why doesn’t it get in to their head that women are not playthings, they are human beings, living breathing ones and it hurts them when some one treats them like shits! And for the first time mom’s words resonated in my head and my tears agreed with me. The next I called up my mom “Get me married” I heard myself shouting. Mom was taken aback obviously for my sudden outburst but she understood when I added “I am sick of all the tittle-tattle and I want to get out of this hell!”
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Have you heard of this proverb “marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth”? I am sure you did but if it is made in heaven who designed divorces? Was it made in hell? That’s something to wonder about.
If you happen to ask married people about how married life is, the only response you would most probably get is “don’t get married!” but people get married despite all those negative comments and warnings. I don’t say I am against the institution of marriage but it doesn’t really interest me either. Fairy tales and those happily ever after stories do fascinate me but I know reality is much larger and bitter. And if those fairy tales were recorded after the very happy ending, I am sure the account of story details would be very different.
There is no written testimony that one should get married and no one said that marriage would bring you the stability, peace or whatever you want in life. But my mom doesn’t understand this judgment. She thinks that for a girl to complete her life, she needs a man. Sigh... And this is the very reason I dread going home for every time I am there, this topic never escapes the discussion at the dinner table. And the last I went home, actually I was on an official tour and I met my mom just for couple of minutes. I tried hard not to bring out that topic but alas mom trapped me again with the very old question “so tell me who your boy friend is”. And as always I politely responded “I will tell you soon mom’. A smile escaped her lips for she knew I was lying and I caught my dad smiling too.
Gone are the days of match fixing when parents choose life partner for their children and even children happily consent to what has been decided. But now the state of affairs has changed. First parents can’t pick anyone for their children, secondly children now has to like the person they would want to walk the aisle with, test them and finally if he or she gets through all those experiments, then maybe they would get married. And there is no guarantee that they would last. When the euphoria of love fades (this is natural), they tend to seek fulfillment outside and this is where extra marital affairs and infidelity in all shapes and sizes happen. Their union goes through the painful ordeal of divorce and separation. Children are the main victims in the process.
But there are couples who have lived through it all and indeed lived up to the very line “till death do us apart”! It is so obvious and natural that love won’t last or even if it does, the degree would very much vary as time pass. But if you happen to go for another every time the magic fades in your relationship, there is no guarantee that you would find someone, not in this life I bet! So the secret as I read it somewhere lies within you, you got to make it work because only you can do it. The so called expression “labor of love” makes senses here.
“THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON, IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND”