Thursday, January 5, 2012
The so called institution of Marriage!
Have you heard of this proverb “marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth”? I am sure you did but if it is made in heaven who designed divorces? Was it made in hell? That’s something to wonder about.
If you happen to ask married people about how married life is, the only response you would most probably get is “don’t get married!” but people get married despite all those negative comments and warnings. I don’t say I am against the institution of marriage but it doesn’t really interest me either. Fairy tales and those happily ever after stories do fascinate me but I know reality is much larger and bitter. And if those fairy tales were recorded after the very happy ending, I am sure the account of story details would be very different.
There is no written testimony that one should get married and no one said that marriage would bring you the stability, peace or whatever you want in life. But my mom doesn’t understand this judgment. She thinks that for a girl to complete her life, she needs a man. Sigh... And this is the very reason I dread going home for every time I am there, this topic never escapes the discussion at the dinner table. And the last I went home, actually I was on an official tour and I met my mom just for couple of minutes. I tried hard not to bring out that topic but alas mom trapped me again with the very old question “so tell me who your boy friend is”. And as always I politely responded “I will tell you soon mom’. A smile escaped her lips for she knew I was lying and I caught my dad smiling too.
Gone are the days of match fixing when parents choose life partner for their children and even children happily consent to what has been decided. But now the state of affairs has changed. First parents can’t pick anyone for their children, secondly children now has to like the person they would want to walk the aisle with, test them and finally if he or she gets through all those experiments, then maybe they would get married. And there is no guarantee that they would last. When the euphoria of love fades (this is natural), they tend to seek fulfillment outside and this is where extra marital affairs and infidelity in all shapes and sizes happen. Their union goes through the painful ordeal of divorce and separation. Children are the main victims in the process.
But there are couples who have lived through it all and indeed lived up to the very line “till death do us apart”! It is so obvious and natural that love won’t last or even if it does, the degree would very much vary as time pass. But if you happen to go for another every time the magic fades in your relationship, there is no guarantee that you would find someone, not in this life I bet! So the secret as I read it somewhere lies within you, you got to make it work because only you can do it. The so called expression “labor of love” makes senses here.
“THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON, IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND”