Sunday, November 22, 2009

My temper

I have a way with my temper, I seem to lose it every now and then for no great reason. More over these days I seem to lose it more over and over again. Music usually helped me but these days music have started having the conflicting effect. It simply goaded me and aggravated the situation more. I hate it when my phone rings more so when it is from a wrong number. I just get the urge to scream at the other end “check your number @@##$%%”….I hate when someone comes along with a chewing gum in her mouth chewing away to glory, the exasperating bursting sound it made. I know they meant no harm but still it gets to my nerve.
This morning I lost my temper with my princess, my daughter and send her crying to school. And god she had exams at school. I was revising her lessons when she could not remember a single thing of what was taught yesterday. That simply set me off. I hate it myself for what I did. Then my mom called after to ask her if they should confirm baby’s school admission down there with them. They have been calling me several times on this issue. As bad as my mood was, I was in no frame of mind to discuss this issue at least not today so I simply retorted back saying “mom can we talk this some other time”. Well, my mom after all, (I must have taken after her) she simply fumed over this and started shouting for no good reason. Well I very well understand that my parents wish for her to be with them and I am also very aware of the fact that my baby would be very happy with her grand parents. They pamper her too much; she leads a life of a princess with them no wonder my parents have nicked her princess. She is indeed a princess to them. Sometimes I wonder if ever I was given the same treatment as a child, even my sister too for that matter (Ahem I am not jealous). There was an instance when all of us including my dad were made to sit at the back of the car, squeezed just because princess did not wanted anyone in the front seat. Imagine my mom was actually shouting at us “get in the back and let her be comfortable.” We were literally squeezed for that entire 20 KM journey. Princess has also been insisting on going and studying there but I still have to give a second thought on this.
At work nothing has been better either. The stacked up papers on my table and the phone calls are simply making me go crazy. Don’t be surprised if you hear me talking to myself one of these days. It simply means that I am skirmishing a way out and I have no one to blame but my temper, my rage.
PS: I have to make sure that I get hold of a big chocolate for my princess today, I need to say sorry. And to my mom too! Pray!

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