Monday, December 27, 2010
The vicious cycle of confusion!
This is so not me or have I been like this all the way along? I AM CONFUSED AS EVER and this is definitely not new. I have been confused over life’s little things. I have been confused when I am to make a choice between two shampoos, one for the oily hair and the other for dry. I am confused what kind of hair I have. I am confused when people ask me where I am from. My dad is from the west when my mom is from the east but we are settled in the south. Gone are the days when we could just scream “ama” and “apa” and they would come running for us. Grown up now so they say but I feel that we are still that little child who needs to be guided. But this time I got myself in to a very strange confusion and luzee was right when she told me that sometimes words are the best comforts, it indeed is.
I did not know or rather was totally unprepared that someone could just turn out of the blue and make my whole otherwise perfect life so disheveled. It was just a matter of few days and here I am on a threshold not knowing where I should be heading to. Whether I should just shook it off as any other insignificant stuff that happen every day or should I chase it. Well it seems I can’t execute both. The first one because it wasn’t any insignificant stuff so I can’t really shook it off my shoulder and the second one because I can’t do it alone, the fire should be burning at both ends. And as confused as I ever can be, I have no clue as to where I stand. Ha! great me, I always succeed in putting myself on such a road where I can see the dead end so clearly. And this time the dead end came in sight rather soon than expected.
I know expectation leads to misery and I was the one yelling at my friends whenever they are in to such stupid confusions. And here I am totally in the confusion circle and yes yes yes I am expecting too. Too bad but can’t help it. It is what I call the vicious cycle or the contagious cycle. Or let me put in a more positive light- I am not expecting but hoping and it is hope that gets you going. Isn’t it?
Well the confusion isn’t going to remain a confusion all life through. It ought to get cleared some day if not it will fade away with time like any other thing. For now I can only say that TIME can only tell the future, if not it is TIME which shall do its wonder once more like always.