Monday, December 7, 2009
It has been a week since I have shifted to my new place and it has been exactly three days that my princess, my sister and nanny left. The first night in their absence was not really hard for I had a company online; I know he had to go starving just to keep me company for I would not let him budge away from his Mac. If you are reading this piece let me convey my paramount of thanks, I am indeed really grateful and indebted. The second night, I slept over at my cousin’s place so no problem but on the third night that was yesterday after much thought and braving my heart, I decided to stay at my place. How long could I go on sleeping over at other’s place and how long could I afford to ask friends and cousins to sleep over at my place? So that’s how I decided.
First I cooked my self some noodles for dinner which I had picked up from my way back from work. I switched on the television. I dare not flick the channels for I feared that I might chance upon a horror movie if it is at all being shown in one of the channel. I stayed glued to the cartoon network channel. It was safe. I was doing fine until my refrigerator started making some funny noises and the roof above me made those eerie creaking sounds and not to forget the dogs outside howling like crazy. I could hear my own heart pounding and I felt that it could explode out any time. I could not even knock my neighbors’ door for I hardly knew them. I increased the TV volume to suppress the sounds of the surrounding but it did not help. Rather it added on to the already existing sounds. I felt the sounds were competing against each other. All kinds of creepy thoughts started looming in my mind. I regretted for watching those horror movies in the past which now pictured in my mind. The scene from the Korean horror movie “shutter” where the spirit of the dead girl pulling the bedspread of her lover boy started haunting me. I felt trapped in my own thoughts. Just at the wrong time my laptop charger gave its way, I could not even go online. My laptop beeped the out of battery signal just as I signed in. I wanted to run away but where could I go. It was already 11 30 PM. OMG 11 30!!! Just half an hour to midnight. I cursed those story tellers who told me that it is at midnight that spirits roamed around. I prayed hard that no such spirit would ever find the address of my flat. I browsed through my contact list on my cell phone if I could call anyone but at this hour every one would be snoring away to glory. I did not have the nerve to trouble anyone.
My eyes rolled around frantically searching for some comfort and that’s when my eyes caught the sight of the photograph of His Holiness Dungsey Rinpoche in my bedroom. It gave so much comfort and solace to my racing heart. I picked it up and embraced it saying thank you a thousand times. Don’t be surprised but I was crying. I felt like a little girl left alone by her parents. Well I was still scared but I felt safe and protected somehow. I put on the music on my cell, wedged the earphones to my ears, got in to my bed and tried drifting away to sleep. It was past 8 Am when I opened my eyes this morning. I rushed to work without breakfast and of course thanking Dungsey rinpoche for the timely rescue.
I know this is just the beginning but I also know that with time I will accustom myself to being alone.