FeElinGs!

It is not really a sunny day today and I can feel the chill of the approaching winter creep in through my bones. And the crazy feeling that’s inside me is driving me nuts; I hate this uneasy, unexplainable feeling in me right now. The “missing you” feeling is always there so it is for sure that love is not at work this time. Love! My friend kesang is right when she says this is one abused word. It indeed is. Any way let me not dwell upon it anymore or I might land up boring you with all those same old story of hurt and deception.
So, I was telling you I actually don’t know what I am feeling right now. It’s something I cannot put in plain words. It’s a mixture of everything. There is happiness and with it a tinge of sadness. I am frantically searching for something I don’t know what, crazy isn’t it??? The Beatles are singing “yellow submarine” in my audio player. I can somehow relate to this song at this very moment.
People say life is impermanent and nothing is worth fighting for but yet again I see people fighting in the fit of survival. I hear news of bloodshed everyday on the TV; newspapers are flooded with news of killings and rapes of innocent people. Oh glory what has become of the world!
Just yesterday I was going though a blog and the pictures there simply amazed me. My heart pained to see those people in the pictures doing extraordinary stunts for simple survival. Yet on the other side I saw pictures of luxurious dining which my friend says is how the rich dine there, I mean in New York. Well he says a simple spoon on that table cost $150 and I could see hundreds there. Thousands of questions hammered in my head to which I knew there are no answers. He was right when he said “richer you get, greedier you would be” and I guess that answered all.
I am stopping here before I start sounding like a barmy person preaching some dim-witted lessons which I seriously don’t intend to. Bear with chuki! 

PS: I wrote this piece a couple of days ago but simply did not click the post button!

(photo courtesy Ugyen Zangmo)